Louise's Utopia: When Deer Eat The Apple Tree And Other Snarky Comments

Now that the air is warming up and I see little sprouts of green grass coming up in the fields, I feel confident that winter is gone! Whew, but honestly, it was a weak winter. There was not much snow nor was there much wind. It was mild and pleasant. I am sure the field mice will be plentiful in the pastures. The deer appeared to have fared well this year too. They have been flocking to the fields at night in large numbers. They methodically stretch across the field like an army of soldiers practicing line infantry, as if trying to create an intimidating display of power. They are intelligent in how they get their dinnertime meals all the while watching for predators. The only predator they will probably find is man. With fast-moving cars or pesticide-ridden fields, man is the big predator of the deer, as far as I can tell. I used to love deer. What I loved about them I still find endearing. They are very peaceful animals and there are not many things more lovely than a meadow, filled with deer. They have a quietness about them and move gracefully too. The problem is now, I hate deer. I used to feel all those feelings of joy on seeing them. Nowadays, I want to spray them with a water hose or install a noise maker, like the vineyards use to scare birds away. Something! They went to war with my trees. They scraped the bark with their horns last fall and ate some of the smaller, whip trees we put in the ground. I do not know why the deer would eat half of a tree. Anyway, that is what makes me mad. Do they know how much work, energy, time and money goes into one tree? Well? I doubt their deer minds care. They walk around looking innocent and sweet eating your money, proven poorly spent. But, deer are violent. That is correct, I said they are deadly. I read a few hunting blogs about male deer this past winter. They attack unsuspecting people every year during mating season. It’s real. I’m not being funny. They should be treated like a bear or a pack of coyotes when surprise encounters happen, during mating season. Back up and don’t take your eyes off them. They will gore you to death with their evil antlers. Look it up. Lots of hunters write blogs on male deer that have hurt people. A handful of people have died due to deer attacks. Sounds funny? Well, it is true. They are not so sweet. Plus they destroy countless gardener’s trees and gardens every year. It is something to consider. Ask yourself. Do I love deer? The answer for me is, no! I do not love deer, at least not anymore. I want them to stay off my land and find somewhere else to look sweet and innocent. Get off my land, dear! I have plans to scare them off my kingdom, these plans are for now and the future. I cannot have their big, brown, cute noses find the grapes, that will send me over the edge. I will find any deer that approaches any more of my vegetation! Lines are drawn, dear, deer friends. I am waiting here for any cute deer nibblers. Be gone- deer! I am prepared! When Deer Destroy Your Trees