Louise's Utopia: The House Guest

Around the first of October, a massive swarm of ladybugs converged on Coteau Valley Farm. Thousands of lovely little beetles were aggregating on the outbuildings and the house. My family and I went outside to admire their charm and they in turn flew around and readily clung to our hair and clothing. It was funny and exciting, but after a short amount of time the beetles were bothersome, and we grew tired and were quickly plucking them off ourselves as if they were rude and obtrusive to us and had no right to climb on us. Looking back I laughed at how quickly we changed our minds about them crawling on us, they went from cute to the boot. Anyhow, the ladybug colony stuck around the farm for a few days and then they packed up and moved onward, to some ladybug land where they are more than likely being oohed and awed over. A fine, winter vacation spot where all the gardeners massively appreciate their grand appearance and their desire to devour the aphids in their gardens and pollinate their flowers. As quickly as some lady buggers moved on, some others moved in... to my house. In the beginning, I thought they were so adorable and that perhaps they were just coming inside because they were probably worried about making the ill-planned flight to their winter homes, so they had just decided to have a sleepover at our house. However, after they moved in and a few nights had passed I began to worry about certain hospitable problems, like what they would be eating during their stay. I began researching their diets and found out that their kind of meals were not to be found in my kitchen. They preferred things like nectar, pollen, and aphids. I finally decided they would probably starve to death and also that it was now too cold to throw them outside and make them fly home, as they cannot fly in temperatures under 55 degrees. I erroneously decided to try and feed the little ladybugs. I found some raisins and sprinkled them with water, the raisins being wrinkled held the water well. Many of them were wildly pleased with my food services and water supply and seemingly gobbled it up for hours on end. Things were now going fine as they were happily eating then more problems arose. They began getting in the way of my cleaning the house. I had to wipe countertops around them leaving little unkept circles everywhere and sweep the floors in the same manner, only in places where they were not residing. Working around these tiny orange friends is hard, thoughtfully making sure to not hurt their little wings or shell-like bodies! If they are tapped with your hand or anything bigger than their bodies, which is pretty much everything, it's hard to tell if they're actually hurt because they play dead as a defense mechanism. This too added to the problem because I was unsure if they were dead or just faking death, so I could not just sweep them up and toss the remains. It became such a "buggy" disaster. I feel as if they took over the house and made me tip-toe around their mini-existence. After a few weeks had passed, they started disappearing and I am still unsure where they all disappeared too. Did they hide in the walls or fly out the doors? Who knows, I feel somehow responsible. Still, some remain here in the house hanging onto my ceilings and walls... until Spring, I guess. I highly doubt by Springtime next year, I will like ladybugs. They are totally presumptuous insects and they purposely make it hard on you because they don't eat what you eat, etc. They are also entirely too small and they also play the dead game, all while touting the "goody two-shoe reputation," so if you happen to do anything to them, you are a major bad guy. After all, don't forget whom I am serving, these little minis happen to be the glorious ladybug princesses of the garden and everyone loves them, including me, well, I used to love them. Moving forward, it is going to be a long Fall and Winter, one full of guilt and improper ladybug etiquette. I'll be trying to feed and water them the wrong meals and accidently, sweep them or push them with my washcloth, etc. I feel trapped. I will let you know how it goes. Just a word of advice for others, don't open your door to them, ever! Keep them in your garden, not your hallway, kitchen, or bathroom...of course by next Summer when I see one in my garden I will say "Look at the cute little ladybug."